"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1932 Inaugural Address
We're all afraid of something; you'd be lying if you said you weren't. Certain people or certain actions can paralyze us with fear, shyness, self-doubt, or any other cocktail of negative and destructive emotions (shaken, not stirred). How can we conquer this inner demon and touch the freedom that awaits on the other side? How can we triumph in the face of fear?
Well, I don't claim to be a spiritual guru who lives in the purity of constant inner-peace - far from it. I am, however, a normal-ass guy who, from time-to-time, deals with doubts, insecurities, and the overall feeling of fear, but has several methods to cope with these feeling. Here how I do it.
Put Yourself In Position
"80 percent of success is showing up."
- Woody Allen
Move toward your fear. Get yourself close.
One of my main sources of fear is talking to random, attractive women that I don't know. [Pause for laughter] For me, there are few things more frightening then walking across a busy coffee shop, store, subway station, etc. and striking up a conversation with a lovely and unsuspecting female. It's hard to describe the feeling of a million eyes staring at you. The fear of rejection and ridicule is enormous.
But how do I approach these women again and again? What secret do I use?
I put myself in position for success.
Maybe I walk over to the adjacent area. Maybe I look at a book in a nearby shelf. Maybe I sit on the same row of chairs. Regardless, I force myself to move to the area where success can be achieved! In this "zone of success", my girl of interest and I can still talk. Even if I don't say anything, she could ask me for directions, the time, or a plethora of other nonchalant conversation-starters. Hell, this has happened to me numerous times. One may argue, "But you didn't DO anything!"
....didn't I?
Uncomfortable Comfort
"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."
- Epictetus
Get out of your comfort zone. Push it hard, and push it now. Nothing is going to help a person who is afraid to challenge themselves.
Aristotle once wrote, "We are what we repeatedly do..." With that logic, if you repeatedly get out of your comfort-zone and regularly perform fearful challenges, you will become adept at risk-taking. Fear will not be the obstacle it once was. Fear will be a bigger has-been than Vanilla Ice.
How do you challenge yourself?
Practice doing things that cause a little embarrassment. Start off small. These activities gets your adrenaline rushing, your blood pumping, and keeps your mind sharp.
Tim Ferriss, author of The Four-Hour Work Week, mentioned that Cato the Younger wore "darker robes than was customary and [wore] no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of."
I talk to strangers to get out of my comfort zone. It supplies me with a lot of stories and experience (and a lot of numbers, hehe). I never know how they're going to react, yet I push through anyway. Hell, I have a Hello Kitty charm/subway card on my cellphone. Useful? Sometimes. Gay? Maybe. Trendy? Hell yes.
Notice, though, in these examples that they don't do things JUST to be different.
They do it to be better.
You're Not The Only One
History is filled with millions of people who faced their fears to attain success. Read their story. Learn from them. Be inspired.
There's not much to say here. The rest is up to you.
My favorite quote on courage.
"Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway."
-John Wayne
*I'm still afraid of spiders, though.... I'm not even going to TRY to conquer that fear. =P
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